What Do I Do About My Saggy Body?

A sound mind makes for a robust body!

A friend of mine recently asked me, “How do I get rid of the saggy parts of my body?”  I was not really sure how to answer the question.  For one thing, I have saggy parts myself, I just manage to keep them under wrap and out of sight.

The one body area women seem to have more problems with is the under arm.  No matter how much we pump those weights, the bags seem to hang in there until the last bit of fat is trimmed down.  We wear clothing to cover them up so they don’t swing around when we wave hello — I mean “Hello!”  is what they say loud and clear if exposed!  I can just see many of my fellow peeps out there nodding in agreement, we can all relate.

This weekend I dined at a friend’s home.  She served the most incredible meal, complete with appetizer, salad, dinner, and dessert.  I didn’t hold back.  I fully indulged myself on cream cheese roll-ups, sweet salads, steak and potato, and a full dish of ice cream over cake to wrap it up.  The next day I was at the gym, running, stepping and lifting weights to work off those extra calories.  Honestly, I may have worked off  a couple of extra pounds, but not all of them.  It’s going to take a few more sessions this week to return to my former weight.

At one point, I looked in the mirror and I became frustrated with myself.  How could I let myself go and eat all that food without a thought about how it would affect me?  I lamented over favorite foods I would have to avoid in order to lose the extra pounds.  I hated the thought that I would have to spend extra time at the gym when I wanted to blog, work on my book, and hang out with my hubby.

When I got home from working out, I tossed my towel in the hamper and headed for the shower.  Ugh!  I could see the flabby arms again.  How despicable! Then a thought occurred to me, am I thinking too much about how I look?  A familiar Bible verse floated across my mind, “Exercise daily in God — no spiritual flabbiness, please!  Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever.”  1 Timothy 4: 8-10, MSG

Like a cleansing rain, I felt the truth of this statement flow over me.  I needed to put away the anxiety and put on the proper attitude of a disciplined life.  My spiritual training has taught me sagginess can exist in the mind.  When we exercise only certain strengths, other lessor parts may cause us to lag behind.   They sag.

The Online Dictionary defines sag as, “to yield through weakness, lack of effort, or the like: i.e., our spirits began to sag.”  I take this as a serious flaw in daily spiritual exercise.  If we, through lack of effort, fail to keep our minds focused, not practicing what we believe, then we will become weak in areas causing us to look and feel inadequate.  Exercise the mind!

I came across this verse in the Message version of the Bible (Proverbs 14:30): “A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.”  I had to look up robust.  It means: strong, healthy, hardy, vigorous, suited to requiring bodily strength, and endurance.   (OK, that is better than what I thought it meant: chubby.)  This was trumpeting loud and clear what I needed to do . . .  I needed to exercise my mind first and the rest would follow.

What am I talking about?  Simply, as you keep in God’s Word, study it and meditate upon it, you will balance out the rest of your life.  If your life is balanced, then all other things will come naturally.  Yes, the way you look at things, even eating, will make sense.  Your spiritual fitness will help you to strengthen out the weak saggy parts, both mentally and physically.

I hope I am making sense to you out there.  Just rambling a bit about my thoughts and some times they just seem to be out there — way out there!  Sharing from my experience is hopefully helping you in some way today.



Death of a Covenant

source: freedigitalphotos.net

This is a very difficult blog for me.  Nevertheless, I feel directed to share my story with you.

Four Tuesdays ago, I was called into my pastoral staff member’s office and was told that my husband had filed for divorce two months prior to the date.  It hurt.  I was crushed.  More so because he had filed without my knowledge.  At that moment, I felt like I had just been hit by a freight train.

As the day unfolded, the nightmare unraveled even more.  That very same afternoon I found out he had placed a restraining order against me.  He had me evicted from our home in conjunction with the restraining order.  I had to leave immediately, taking only what I could pack.  When I went to put gas into my car, I discovered he had withdrawn all our monies from our accounts.  An engulfing fear of the unknown blanketed me, where was I to go and what was I going to do for money?  I felt like I was living a nightmare, one from which I wanted so badly to awaken.  I scrambled to gain any kind of footing.

The finger-pointing in a failing marriage is ugly.  It seems once we leave our marriage unattended by the Power of Christ, Satan is quick to enter and his mission is to destroy.  Once Satan is allowed to enter, is not confronted and made to leave, the destruction begins and he works to kill.

And this is where our marriage was. 

It has to be a unified battle to save a marriage. I found myself questioning everything about my marriage.  I felt abandoned and lonely, overcome with so many emotions.  I just wanted to hear him say “I did not mean it I am sorry!”  But those words never came.

The rejection I felt ripped at my heart.

I cried because the vows we took were broken.  He spoke and said, “for better or worse!”  Where was the commitment?

The lack of romance and intimacy had left our marriage the preceding four years.  I believe my husband mentally abandoned our marriage two years prior to the acknowledgement of his filing.  Their was no compromise on his part in any way.  I begged God to show me other ways to love him even if it meant no intimacy, but I started to go downhill fast because nothing was returned.

A failing marriage is very pitiable.  I wish I could say that I was faultless in everything, but I cannot.  There was a lot of baggage on both of our parts that needed to be settled prior to joining in marriage.   But, it did not happen.  It was an ongoing run-away train at this point.  Nothing we did seemed to slow it down. I saw things in our marriage that were excessively unhealthy and could not be allowed to continue in the manner it was headed.

N0t until something happened, turning the tide (I choose to believe it was God that intervened). 

What I discovered was extremely painful, but it made me realize that either I had to do something for myself or I was going to lose my marriage.  I started going to christian counseling in May to unpack my worn luggage and seek a solution.  But what I expected to change in a few months, I now realize required a long-term, united commitment on both our parts to work.   At this point,  he was extremely bitter, angry and unwilling to bend to any guidance by leadership, or otherwise; and so ended our marriage.

Looking back, I always felt it was something I did or did not do that caused our lack of intimacy,  but I did not comprehend it this was his choosing.  I did not realize he didn’t love me, and when he admitted it to me . . .  I was crushed.

But God in his love knew what was happening here; I know that God does not approve of divorce, but the ongoing damage  had to be stopped.  I did not want to leave my marriage, God removed me.   When he did, I left my home evicted but walked right into the hands of a loving, accepting God.  I serve an amazing God.  HE already had everything set up for me as I stepped out.  I submit everything inside me into his love and care.  The tears still flow because our “vow” was broken.

Moving forward is never easy.

I could choose to stay in this insanity or go forward in Christ and give him my hurts, hate, bitterness, and so much more.   I desire healing and honesty.

My Sister Dee sent me a necklace with the inscription,  Jer 29:11:  “For I know that plans I have for you (Erme), to prosper you (Erme), to give you (Erme) hope and a future.”  This necklace is my constant reminder of whose I am.  I am a marked woman for God!!

This is what I choose and for a soon to be ex-spouse: I leave him in the hands of God.  I wish him no harm, nor do him any harm, nor treat him unjustly.  I pray that his heart will open up to God allowing God’s  healing to take place in his heart.

I have witnessed many ex-wives, who were wronged, fail to move forward.  They continue to treat their ex with hate and treat them horribly.  I  will not allow this to be a part of my life.  “I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.”

Now, I will walk this life with Christ in great EXPECTATIONS!!

Be Blessed,


The King’s Advisors

Whose counsel do you seek in protecting your life’s castle? (source: wikimedia.com)

The King bellowed the command, “Bring me a flask of wine and call my counsellors to the throne room!”  The messengers scattered speedily throughout the corridors and into the courtyards beckoning the advisors to heed the king’s command.  Within minutes, the royal court was filled with counsellors brimming with excitement, awaiting the king’s bidding. 

The king arose from his throne and spoke one phrase:  Should I make war or peace with Kauldron?

The advisors immediately began to converse with one another over the proposition presented to them.  They argued for a good part of the morning, many of them refusing to alter their opinion.  The king leaned over and spoke to his chief scholar, asking for his perception of the court proceedings.  The scholar retorted, “I believe they lack clear vision.”

Proverbs 15:22 states, “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”   A king depended upon the advise of his counsellors to help him make important decisions such as policy, war and judgment.  Counsellors were selected depending upon their character, wisdom and experience.  Often, a matter of life and death weighed heavily upon the counsel of these consultants.  At times, they lacked clear vision or direction on how to advise the king.

Today, we do not have the personal privilege of a king’s counsel to guide and inform us when life’s difficult problems present themselves.   However, we can seek advice from those we know who demonstrate a Godly life, success based upon character, and righteous living.  We call them mentors.

Seeking those who would consider our cause, pray over it and help guide us to a good decision is valuable and priceless.  A good counsellor will not tell us what to do, but advise us as to the pros and cons of the situation.  Ultimately, we make the decision based upon what we hear and consider to be the best option.

There are those of us who tend to make decisions based upon our emotional status, upon the word of casual acquaintance, even the advice of a stranger rather than to seek out someone with proven wisdom in life matters.  Based upon the former advisors mentioned, we head down the wrong path to a dismal ending.

“But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding?”  (Job 28;12)  Who hath put wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart?  (Job 38:36)  No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies. (Job 28:18)  Yes, where do we get priceless wisdom to help us understand our problem completely?  How can we truly trust any man with such intricate matters of heart?

Daniel, a man of God and counsellor to King Nebuchadnezzar, knew where to find wisdom to guide him in life,  ” . . . blessed be the name of God for ever and ever: for wisdom and might are his: And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding. . . O thou God of my fathers, who hast given me wisdom and might, and hast made known unto me now what we desired of thee: for thou hast now made known unto us the king’s matter.”  (Daniel 2: 20-23)

When we seek advice, it would greatly benefit us to seek out the Lord’s counsel before making any final decision.  In fact, we should pray to him first, prior to sharing our concerns with and asking the advice of mentors.  Men (and women) will give us good counsel, but if not coupled with God’s  — we may be headed down the wrong path.

God is able to see what you cannot, he knows what lies ahead.  He also knows your strengths and weaknesses.  Who better to advise you on how to proceed?  He desires the best for you.  “I know what I’m doing.  I have it all planned out — plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  when you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.. . I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. ” (Jer. 29:11-14, MSG)

Seek God’s counsel first, your counsellors/mentors second, and your decisions will be wise and successful.